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Follow along with us throughout the day as we update our winners and losers of the NFL’s third Sunday.

 

LOSER: Ben McAdoo

For being an awful coach, but also for looking like the guy at the family cookout who doesn’t need your help on the grill.

WINNER: 2016 Rams QBs

Jared Goff and Case Keenum throughout 2016: 58.4 completion percentage, 6.2 yards per attempt, 0.8 touchdown-to-interception ratio. … Jared Goff and Case Keenum in Week 3 of 2017: 77.1 completion percentage, 10.8 yards per attempt, 6.0 touchdown-to-interception ratio.

WINNER: 49ers 2018 draft prospects

Following the Jets’ win today, there is a new favorite to land the No.1 overall pick in next year’s draft: the 49ers. Right now, San Francisco has a 32% chance of getting that pick, pending tomorrow’s FPI update.

LOSER: Dad jokes

This one cost the Broncos the game. Literally.

WINNER: The Chargers selling out a home game… finally

Yes, it was a home game being played in a 26,000-seat soccer stadium, but baby steps. 

WINNER: Tony Romo

I say it every week: Romo is waaay too good at this job.

LOSER: Packers O-line

For allowing 6 sacks on Aaron Rodgers through the 3Q. Rodgers is 0-6 in his career in games when he’s been sacked at least 6 times. 

LOSER: Ben McAdoo

For being an awful coach, but also for looking like the guy who opens the front door to his home for his friends coming over to watch Sunday football, asks if they’re ready to watch the big game, and as they begin to walk in, half-jokingly bars their entry with his hand while saying “not with those fruity micro-brews, you’re not!” as he takes a huge pull from his own Coors pounder.

WINNER: Ryan Succop

I’m pretty sure Succop is the only player to have scored for the Titans so far this season and has now converted on 26 FGs less than 3 weeks in. 

WINNER: Hats

Pictured: Cam Newton auditioning for a film based on an Elmore Leonard novel.

WINNER: More hats

Pictured: Erin Andrews starring as someone who begins every sentence with “I do declare…”

LOSER: Philip Rivers

Per ESPN Stats & Info, this is Philip Rivers’ 9th career regular-season game with at least three interceptions, and six of them have come since the start of 2014. Rivers has the most such games in the NFL in that span.

LOSER: Ben McAdoo

For being an awful coach, but also for looking like the guy who owns a monogrammed bowling ball.

LOSER: The Dolphins

Because the Jets. 

LOSER: Joe Flacco

Joe Flacco recorded a career-worst single-game Total QBR of 0.8 against the Jaguars today. That is also the worst single-game Total QBR of the 2017 season. Andy Dalton’s infamous Week 1 QBR has been adjusted up to a 1.2 — not quite as bad as Flacco on Sunday.

WINNER: Andy Dalton

See Flacco, Joe

LOSER: Ben McAdoo

For being an awful coach, but also for looking like the Little League umpire who practices his Strike-3 call in the bathroom mirror.

LOSER: ODB

This should be a ‘winner.’ Instead, the NFL is run by Ben Stiller’s character from Happy Gilmore. 

WINNER: Tom Brady

I hear throwing for 5 TDs is kind of a big deal.

WINNER: Jake Elliott

 

Dave is the Creator and Editor-in-Chief for The Benchmob. He primarily writes about Soccer, the NBA, esports, and Pop-Culture.