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Follow along with us throughout the day as we update our winners and losers of the NFL’s second Sunday.

WINNER: NBC’s Production Crew

For busting out the NBA’s “Roundball Rock” theme that NBC used from 1991-2002 during the Packers-Falcons coverage.

Edit: I have just learned this was written by John Tesh and he actually performs it live. This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

2nd Edit: I’ve fallen into a John Tesh YouTube wormhole. What is happening right now?

WINNER: This photographer

He managed to capture the rarest of sights when he snapped this picture of the Jay Cutler in its natural habitat while SMILING.

LOSER: 16 million people

I don’t know who you are, but according to Joe Buck’s promotional reads, you all watched the Seth MacFarlane shaceship show last week.

LOSER: Younghoe Koo

Tomorrow: Younghoe Kut. #dadjoke

WINNER: Mike Pereira and Dean Blandino

“So what you’re saying is you want us to get dressed up, stand-by and watch the games in the control center, and then you’ll throw to us two or three times per afternoon to ask if we think someone’s knee was down? And you’re going to pay us what!?”

This is how I imagine that call went down.

WINNER: Trevor Siemian… again

FOUR TDs? What. Is. Happening.

WINNER: Trevor Siemian

16-21 for 179 and 3 TDs in the first-half THREE passing TDs for Siemian? In one half? Andy Dalton is so jelly right now.

WINNER: The Oakland play-calling in the red-zone

I would love to know who named it, but the Raiders actually have an offensive designation called “Seattle” inside the 5-yard line to audible out of the run and into a pass play. Even more ironic, Marshawn Lynch is their RB.

WINNER: Carlos Hyde

The last time a player rushed for over 100 yards in Seattle was DeMarco Murray in 2014. Hyde just finished with 102 rushing yards on only 7 carries for the 49ers at CenutryLink Field… in the first-half. NBD.

WINNER: Thunderstorms

Thanks to the thunderstorms that caused the Cowboys-Broncos game to be delayed nearly an hour, the game will now run right up to the start of the Sunday night game. Translation: No awkward half-hour intermission between the late-afternoon and night game where we’re stuck watching the Seth MacFarlane spaceship show.

LOSER: NFL Franchises in Los Angeles

WINNER: Anderson .Paak

For “Come Down” still being used as bumper music in what feels like every game.

LOSER: NFL fans in the New York metropolitan area without DirecTV who have to watch the Jets on regional CBS coverage every week.

LOSER: Each and every one of us

LOSER: Indianapolis marketing opportunities

It’s a shame that Indy is not a great BBQ city, because the “Jacoby Brisket” sandwich would be delicious. 

WINNER: Indianapolis marketing opportunities

[Brissett tosses INT on first play of OT]

On second thought, maybe that sandwich wouldn’t be all that tasty.

WINNER: Travis Kelce’s prospects as a decathlete

LOSER: Officials in the Eagles-Chiefs game

For missing this obvious targeting call.

LOSER: Panthers O-line

The monetary value of Cam’s gift to each of you after the season is plummeting. 

LOSER: Anyone who purchased Bortles service in the club

WINNER: Anyone following Mina Kimes (@minakimes) on Twitter during NFL games

WINNER: Kareem Hunt’s MVP campaign

LOSER: Alex Smith’s MVP campaign

It was fun while it lasted. 

WINNER: The Ringer’s Mallory Rubin

For digging up this tweet.

WINNER: People who like crap football games

9 teams couldn’t score a TD in the first half of the 1PM games. I know it’s only Week 2, but there are some legitimately awful teams in the NFL this year.

LOSER: The Mike Glennon Era

We hardly new ya.

WINNER: Tony Romo

Real talk, is there anything more fun than listening to Romo predict literally every play correctly?

LOSER: Bears Fans

It’s only week two and there’s already a dumpster fire in Chicago.

WINNER: Bill Belichick

For drawing up the “let’s just get 3 TDs in the 1Q” gameplan for today.

WINNER: Tom Brady

Tom Terrific threw for 3 TDs in the 1Q. He also talked the referees out of a penalty. 

WINNER: Rob Gronkowski

For scoring his 69th career touchdown. 

WINNER: Stefon Diggs


Week 2 NFL Picks


Dave is the Creator and Editor-in-Chief for The Benchmob. He primarily writes about Soccer, the NBA, esports, and Pop-Culture.